In the Louisiana Purchase of 1803, the United States acquired 828,000 square miles for about four cents an acre, which more than doubled the country's size and that brought its western border within reach of the Pacific Ocean.
A. In the Louisiana Purchase of 1803, the United States acquired 828,000 square miles for about four cents an acre, which more than doubled the country's size and that brought
B. For about four cents an acre the United States acquired, in the Louisiana Purchase of 1803, 828,000 square miles, more than doubling the country's size and it brought
C. With the Louisiana Purchase in 1803, the United States acquired 828,000 square miles for about four cents an acre, more than doubling its size and bringing
D. The United States, in the Louisiana Purchase of 1803, for about four cents an acre, acquired 828,000 square miles, more than doubling the country's size, bringing
E. Acquiring 828,000 square miles in the Louisiana Purchase of 1803, the United States bought it for about four cents an acre, more than doubling the country's size and bringing
well, the first and foremost thing about choice (d) is that it's absolutely horrible.
if you were a native speaker, you would look at it and want to throw things against the wall. it's just that bad (in terms of total awkwardness).
weirdly enough, i don't think there is anything that is actually ungrammatical about it. i think its primary problems have to do with clarity:
* "in the louisiana purchase" is placed AFTER "the united states". this placement implies that the united states itself is actually contained within the louisiana purchase.
* "for about four cents an acre" is placed in a place that is unclear.
also:
* the cadence of the sentence is just awful. it's like blurt, comma, blurt, comma, blurt, comma, blurt, etc.
this is not the sort of thing that a non-native speaker could be expected to reject right away, but this is just not the style of acceptable writing.
hmm. to be perfectly honest, i applied my "native speaker's eyes" and just knocked it out because of excessive weirdness.
but... you have a pronoun shift; you have "it" and "its" in the same clause, but they're trying to refer to different things. that's not acceptable.
A. In the Louisiana Purchase of 1803, the United States acquired 828,000 square miles for about four cents an acre, which more than doubled the country's size and that brought
B. For about four cents an acre the United States acquired, in the Louisiana Purchase of 1803, 828,000 square miles, more than doubling the country's size and it brought
C. With the Louisiana Purchase in 1803, the United States acquired 828,000 square miles for about four cents an acre, more than doubling its size and bringing
D. The United States, in the Louisiana Purchase of 1803, for about four cents an acre, acquired 828,000 square miles, more than doubling the country's size, bringing
E. Acquiring 828,000 square miles in the Louisiana Purchase of 1803, the United States bought it for about four cents an acre, more than doubling the country's size and bringing
well, the first and foremost thing about choice (d) is that it's absolutely horrible.
if you were a native speaker, you would look at it and want to throw things against the wall. it's just that bad (in terms of total awkwardness).
weirdly enough, i don't think there is anything that is actually ungrammatical about it. i think its primary problems have to do with clarity:
* "in the louisiana purchase" is placed AFTER "the united states". this placement implies that the united states itself is actually contained within the louisiana purchase.
* "for about four cents an acre" is placed in a place that is unclear.
also:
* the cadence of the sentence is just awful. it's like blurt, comma, blurt, comma, blurt, comma, blurt, etc.
this is not the sort of thing that a non-native speaker could be expected to reject right away, but this is just not the style of acceptable writing.
gin.vc123 wrote:
Hi Ron,
Could you please explain what strategy did you apply to choose C over E while scanning options.
Would it be correct to say that one of the reasons could be that there's redundancy in E (acquiring...LP of 1803,..and bought it...) since it mentions "bought" again after already saying "acquiring".
Thanks!
Could you please explain what strategy did you apply to choose C over E while scanning options.
Would it be correct to say that one of the reasons could be that there's redundancy in E (acquiring...LP of 1803,..and bought it...) since it mentions "bought" again after already saying "acquiring".
Thanks!
hmm. to be perfectly honest, i applied my "native speaker's eyes" and just knocked it out because of excessive weirdness.
but... you have a pronoun shift; you have "it" and "its" in the same clause, but they're trying to refer to different things. that's not acceptable.
